I’m sure I’m not the only composer, who, after many years working almost exclusively in film and television, begins to long after the opportunity to ‘do their own thing’, whatever that might mean.
But this can be a scary prospect for someone who is so embedded in the collaborative media world that exists between the composer and director, producer and editor. And at the end of the day, you are a cog in the well-oiled machine of a TV or Film production. Life as a media composer can often be chameleon-like; you mould yourself musically to serve the demands of a production and one is working very much to support the creative vision of others. ‘Doing your own thing’ means you are more or less on your own; there is no-one else making the creative decisions. This is your voice coming to the fore, you are answerable only to yourself and your own creative vision.
Looking back over nearly 40 years working as a musician, I can honestly describe those years as being a series of (mostly happy!) accidents. And the birth of this album is just one of a long line of these. As has been written about elsewhere the initial recordings of the choral piece ‘Earth’s Imagined Corners’ were intended purely as an archive recording. However, as time progressed and I began to write more in this vein, I came to the initially difficult and daunting decision to focus writing solely for live performance rather than for picture.
And now I have a complete album (although as I write this, the CDs I thought were winging their way to the UK are currently held up at customs…hooray for Brexit!). What have I learned over the past few years? First; have a clear plan and budget carefully – I didn’t and it is so easy to let things run away from you in all the excitement. I must admit, my approach was rather random, and as a result had too much material. However, nothing goes to waste and I was pleased to be able to release the collection ‘Songs of Ice and Snow’ as a separate EP. Secondly; don’t hesitate to approach the finest people to work with you. I’m so lucky to have a wonderful line up of world class performers on this album, and their enthusiasm and support has been truly humbling. On top of that, I have a wonderful producer in Michael Ponder who has gently coaxed the very best performances from everyone, together with engineer Adaq Khan and mastering engineer Martin Atkinson who have given the music a wonderful sheen. And of course I can’t forget my wonderful partner in crime, Greg Warren Wilson, who has let me loose on his wonderfully evocative poetry! And finally; have the confidence in your own voice. This has been probably the biggest challenge as I’ve made the transition away from media composition. But despite the niggling doubts, the frustrating days when you seem to be erasing more on the manuscript paper than what you are writing down, I feel that at my ripe old age I am beginning to discover what I sound like.
Stepping away from the collaborative comfort zone of film and TV composition into the more solitary world of personal creative expression has been both daunting and liberating. This journey, unexpected, unplanned, but thankfully not too chaotic, has reaffirmed in me the knowledge that creative growth often comes from taking risks and embracing the unknown. While I may have stumbled into this project through another “happy accident,” the result is something deeply personal and truly fulfilling. I hope that in sharing this music, listeners can hear not just the notes and the textures and the words, but also the excitement, uncertainty, and discovery of someone learning to find their own voice after years of speaking through others.